The Struggle

While Christians in the Mideast are giving up their lives for the sake of Christ, I am met with the realization that daily I am sometimes unwilling to give up even the little temptations that I know hold back the ability of the Spirit to work through me.  This causes me to wonder, would I give up my last breath, too?  And the obligatory self-loathing ensues.  In Romans 7:19-25, Paul launched into one brain-bender of a pity party, too:

“For I do not do the good that I want to do, but I practice the evil that I do not want to do.  Now if I do what I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but it is the sin that lives in me.  So I discover this principle: When I want to do what is good, evil is with me.  For in my inner self I joyfully agree with God’s law.  But I see a different law in the the parts of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and taking me prisoner to the law of sin in the parts of my body.  What a wretched man I am!  Who will rescue me from this dying body?  I thank God through Christ Jesus our Lord!  So then, with my mind I myself am a slave to the law of God, but with my flesh to the law of sin."

Clearly this man who DID go on to give his life up for the cause of Christ is STRUUUUGGLING with a capital UGH and evidently dealt with a “thorn in the flesh” along the way. (2 Cor 12:7-9)

Cue “The Accuser”… as if we didn’t already feel bad enough on our own, Satan roams about seeking whom he may destroy with his “special set of skills” which includes accusing believers before God and everybody, day and night. (Rev. 12: 10)  As we know, most lies contain a nugget of truth, otherwise no one would ever fall for them.  So the Father of Lies (the Devil) takes our screw-up(s) and proceeds to convince us that we are disqualified from being useful for Christ because of them.  If not forever, he at least makes us to feel that we need to sit in the penalty box for a bit before God can use us again.  The dirt has to wear off of our hands with time before we can be made clean enough to handle things like the Word of God and prayer, or so we think.  But the truth is that through the saving work of Christ, we are as clean as the freshly fallen snow!

Confession and repentance are necessary parts of our walk and growing in Him but our qualification as servants of the Most High God has nothing to do with us and EVERYTHING to do with the completed work of Christ on the cross. Just in case we were uncertain, he even said on the cross, “It is finished” to prevent any confusion. (John 19:30)

So what?  What does this mean to us moving forward? How does this play out in real life? What can I do when I feel defeated in this cycle of failure? 

1) Restart your dialogue (prayer) with the Father immediately, if not sooner.  Repent (agree with God about your sin) if you haven’t already.

2) When thoughts invade and accuse, recognize their source, and let the enemy of your soul  know that you may have screwed up for the 786^th time, but the blood of Christ covers all your sins and has already paid the price for them.

3) Look for a way to turn your failure into a victory.  The Lord redeems our broken places and uses them for good.  He not only binds up the brokenhearted (Isaiah 61:1), he uses our brokenness to help others.  Kind of like today, when I screwed up for the 786^th time and God still allowed these words to flow through my hands, my weak, grimy, painfully human hands and into your heart, through the power of the Spirit, for His glory.  So look for a way that your experience can help someone else and so serve the body of Christ.

-Renee Moreland